Secretariat – review

Just when we thought John Malkovich didn't have another semi-intentionally deranged performance left in him, he has come storming back with another uproarious turn, as Lucien Laurin, the mercurial horse trainer in this true-life heartwarmer about a super-fast 1970s racehorse called Secretariat. Malkovich wears silly pork-pie hats and he's supposed to be French Canadian. This means he periodically lapses into a bizarrely accented French, spoken as if through a mouthful of Toblerone. Diane Lane plays Penny Chenery, the daughter of a legendary trainer who takes over the failing family farm and nurtures a winner in Secretariat. And if you assume that her adorable stubbornness and breeding are mirrored in that noble horse, then you wouldn't be far wrong. She very much disapproves, incidentally, of the racist way people had been treating her black stablehand Eddie (Nelsan Ellis) but apparently never lets him stand next to her and Lucien during the race.